Mollie Walker
Right in the middle when COVID started, I’m guessing probably April of 2020. And through that, as we started thinking and Lauren and I kind of put our heads together, we’re thinking, you know, why don’t we have this legislation in Tennessee?
Eloise Drane
Welcome to season three of Fertility Cafe. I’m your host Eloise Drane, I’m excited to introduce and speak to our first guests of season three on the show today. Fertility Care is ever-evolving. For many, medical treatments are not covered by their insurance. Coverage for infertility and fertility preservation can currently be disallowed by insurance companies, and many insurance companies have fertility coverage classified as cosmetic or elective. As of April 2021, 19 states have passed fertility insurance coverage laws. 13 of those laws include IVF coverage, and 11 states have fertility preservation laws for medically induced infertility. Unfortunately, still more than half the country has no requirements for fertility coverage. Yet more and more people are experiencing fertility issues every year. It’s better than it was five years ago, but there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. And that’s where our guests come in – Mollie Walker and Chelsea Caldwell, two ladies who took up the Fertility Care torch as advocates to help change the fertility landscape. Mollie Walker, a VP at Landmark Community Bank is a believer, wife, and proud mother of two beautiful children. However, the road to having them wasn’t easy. With no insurance coverage for infertility years of trying to conceive and two miscarriages, it felt overwhelming, lonely, and hopeless at times. Now she advocates passionately for others that the disease of infertility would be covered by insurance in the state of Tennessee, so the financial barrier is removed and allows more couples the opportunity to conceive their own children. In 2020, along with Lauren Brown, she co-founded Tennessee fertility advocates, an organization dedicated to spreading awareness, fighting for fertility-friendly legislation in Tennessee, and assisting others to speak to their employers about the need for fertility coverage. Also with us is Chelsea Caldwell, a family law attorney who happens to also be the director of legal services for family inceptions. She too is a wife, mother of toddler twins and dealt with her own infertility struggles. Chelsea is a dedicated volunteer and advocate on behalf of those who desire better access and affordability of family building options and specifically the Tennessee fertility advocates.
Whoever thought making a baby could be so hard. Luckily, the fertility journey isn’t meant to be traveled alone. Eloise Drane has helped hundreds of people build and grow their families over the last 15 years and she’s ready to share insider knowledge and expertise with you. So grab a seat and let’s talk fertility and alternative family building in the fertility cafe.
Welcome, ladies, so happy to have you join me today. Although I shared a quick summary of your bio, I would love for you to share a bit about yourselves. So, Mollie, I would like to start with you first.
Mollie Walker
Awesome. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. My name is Mollie Walker, born and raised in Cartersville, Tennessee, right outside of Memphis. I am a banker by day but a full-time fertility advocate for Tennessee Fertility Advocates and just advocacy in general. I have two children, a six-year-old and three year old and a wonderful husband. But the journey to having those kids was really difficult and we didn’t have any insurance coverage. And so to me, it’s very important to speak up and share your story. And I’ve been blessed to do that with TFA. So just really excited to be here but I am a Tennesseean through and through and yeah, that’s a little bit about me.
Eloise Drane
Awesome. What about you Chelsea?
Chelsea Caldwell
And thank you Eloise for the introduction. You summed it up nicely. My name is Chelsea Caldwell. Happy to be here today. I’m a family law attorney and specialized and I’ve dedicated my law practice to assisted reproductive technologies. I’m licensed in both Tennessee and Arkansas and am additionally very honored to serve as the director of legal services for family inceptions, which I love. Like Mollie, I also share a personal story of infertility of twins from IVF, and going through that journey personally I knew that professionally this is what I wanted to do in my law practice was to help others who struggle with infertility and are desirous of parenthood and need assistance to become parents. As it pertains to Tennessee fertility advocates, I co-authored the Tennessee pro-family building act and I’ve been involved with the organization since near its beginning. I met Molly and Lauren, the other co-founder on an advocacy day call for federal infertility insurance coverage. I think it was the next person they approached, probably the third member of TFA, which now has over 7000 plus members.
Eloise Drane
Wow, that many? That’s awesome. Okay, well, we’re gonna get into all the details. So well first, you know, taking on legislation in any state seems daunting, but doing it in a more conservative state seems probably extremely overwhelming. So first, Mollie, what was your motivation to start Tennessee Fertility Advocates? I mean, like, how did it come about? Obviously, I know your story, but it’s one thing to have a story and then it’s a whole other, you know, thing to say, yeah, I’m actually gonna pull the trigger and do this.
Mollie Walker
Right? Well, so a friend of mine since kindergarten, her name is Lauren Brown, she lives very close to me here in Collierville, Tennessee, she was one of the only ones that I really knew was going through infertility, as well as myself. And we kind of talk back and forth. She’s the one that connected me to the fertility doctor that I saw, Dr. Emilia Bailey. And through those years, I just remember feeling so helpless and so alone, and like, just embarrassed and shame that something’s off with my body. And, you know, I’d have people say, and it’s not their fault, they didn’t know but they’d say, well, don’t you want children? Or don’t you want to give your sibling a child not to know that I had a miscarriage the day before, you know, and things like that are just excruciating for anyone, the mental health, and physical and financial, all of those things together. So we decided to start Tennessee Fertility Advocates, Lauren, and I, like Chelsea said, we’ve that on a federal advocacy day call, it was right in the middle when COVID started, I’m guessing probably April of 2020. And through that, as we started thinking, and Lauren and I kind of put our heads together, we’re thinking, you know, why don’t we have this legislation in Tennessee, I want to know more. And I heard about Colorado’s recent passing of their legislation. And it’s so funny through Instagram of all things and hashtags, I got connected to the representative who led the way in Colorado. And we talked for an hour and a half of just listening to how it was and how it came to be. And she connected me with other people, Lauren, and I put our heads together and said, You know what, I don’t know what this looks like. But why don’t we start Tennessee Fertility Advocates, we just came up with the name, grassroots organization. And but our first main goal was to create awareness and support for those going through it because I just knew, no matter what happens with legislation, I don’t want people to feel the depression that I felt. Nobody should have to feel that and we just need community really we do and then we want to help advocates talk to their employers as well. And we also want to obviously see legislation passed in a conservative state. And so that’s when we reached out to Chelsea because we met her through that call. And we just kind of all put our heads together and really just started from the ground up without any idea of really what’s to come. But I just know for me, God put something in my heart and ignited something and gave my pain a purpose and as well as Laurens and Chelsea’s and we’re just honored to, to just see what has happened even the past year, it’s been absolutely incredible.
Eloise Drane
Yeah, and the fact that it’s only been one year, and like you had already said that you already have 7000 members, would you mind walking us through your timeline a bit in creating TFA, writing the Tennessee pro-family building act, and building awareness for the cause, like within a one year, that’s a lot in a year timeframe.
Mollie Walker
We do all have full-time jobs and children to take care of and all of those things. But you know, I’m a huge believer and I think you kind of said something similar to this earlier is there’s a choice where we can complain about things, we can gripe about insurance not covering it, we can just be depressed and nobody wants to sit in that state. Or we can do something and I feel like this world needs more doers and the people that I hope listen to this podcast will realize the true impact of one to three folks and just how much that can really make a difference. So we started with this vision. The Tennessee Fertility Advocates group literally had no idea about legislation. Thanks to like writing a bill obviously, we got the help of Chelsea, we reached out with fertility within reach as well. And just did a lot of research on the front end started researching organizations similar to ours in other states reaching out and ask in those leaders of those groups “Hey, would you have a call with us because I want to learn? I mean, tell me what have you learned? What works well? What is not worked well?” I mean, if you saw all the notes, I’m a note-taker and all the different binders of notes that I have and putting things together, you would probably think, oh my goodness girl, and but we started with a Facebook group. Okay, just the basic Facebook group, Becca, we actually started with a logo, one of my friends, she has a graphic design company, she’s awesome, gave us some options. So we came up with the logo. And then we started our free Facebook group. And then we were able to start going to like a GoDaddy website. I’ve never built a website. But we also had some assistance from a lady named Kim has been incredible as well. And we kind of started there, we started the website, it launched August 12, which was my birthday last year. So this August 12th was one year of our website, and we started hitting up with Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, we had a public Facebook page, as well as a private group. The private group is more so at least if you were involved in this stuff, that’s where people really open our heart, okay, and share the public pages stuff where people can click the Share button, share about us, link it to the website. A big thing that we did at the beginning that I think is huge for any advocacy group is to have a take action button. Okay, so we link that to a survey, and that way it helps us know, who are these advocates, legislators? What’s their story? Do they want to get involved? And then also, we found through Google, found that a lady named Karen Edwards, who started a nonprofit called Starfish and Fertility Foundation in Nashville, reached out to her out of the blue on Instagram saying, Hey, I saw what you did through this article, here’s what we’re working on. And it was something heavy on her heart. And I mean, God has orchestrated all these people at the right time. And you know, when it comes to the bill, I’ll let Chelsea obviously speak into that, because that was mainly, you know, the things that I love to do are is to advocate, grow our group, build awareness, and then I’d let the others that are good at writing legislation do their jobs, though. But as far as just the grassroots group, we started there. And let me tell you, it is like a fire has been ignited, I mean, truly with so many individuals going through infertility. It is I mean, I really think that number is going to go through the roof in the next few years because people find out about us through obviously getting the word out like podcasts like yours. So just really thankful to do anything to bring awareness to this issue.
Eloise Drane
As I said in the intro, that there are currently 19 states that have passed fertility insurance coverage laws, however, Tennessee didn’t make the list, as it would it was deferred to next year. Chelsey, what does state coverage laws mean for individuals who are struggling to build their families?
Chelsea Caldwell
Sure. So essentially, fertility insurance coverage laws would require Fertility Care and fertility treatment to be covered by insurance like treatment for would be covered by insurance for any other disease. Insurers, however, see these laws and bills and almost have an automatic negative gut response thinking that Oh no, this is only going to raise our premiums when actually it does the opposite and results in cost savings. The explanation to that is when no benefits are provided, and people are paying out of pocket for fertility treatment, that creates a financial incentive for these patients that are undergoing IVF to transfer more than one embryo at a time to maximize the chance of pregnancy because this is their one shot. This inevitably increases the rate of multiple births, which in turn significantly increases health care costs upwards of hundreds of 1000s of dollars per pregnancy. When patients have benefits, though, they’re less likely to make medical decisions based on finances, they’re more likely to transfer a single embryo at a time, which increases the likelihood of a singleton pregnancy, reduces costs, and also protects the health of the mother and the child being born. But to circle back to your question, these laws are there so the insurance would cover the cost of treatment, such as the cost of IVF, rather than the patient having to pay out of pocket. And as you know, many families go into significant debt, take out second mortgages on their homes, just to pay for treatment. So these laws have a really huge impact on families who are not only dealing with the emotional toll and fertility brings but also really struggling to find a way to afford the treatment that they need to grow their family.
Eloise Drane
And then if you think about it, too, I mean, unfortunately, you know that it’s becoming more and more a reality that more and more people are experiencing fertility issues every single year, and I do not see that it’s going to stop if anything is becoming even more prevalent. And the thing is, given that half the country still has no mandate for coverage, Mollie, how does one even go about to start something similar in their state, like where do they even begin?
Mollie Walker
Yeah, so that’s a great question. The first thing you do is obviously, try to make sure that there if there’s an organization already starting something in your state, I highly obviously suggest researching it on the computer, looking on Facebook and that type, because you just never know, hey, maybe in East Tennessee, there could have been a group already started well, let’s join forces and not work against each other. And obviously, there wasn’t in Tennessee, but I’m just saying whatever state you’re in, make it you know, just do your research that is there anything like this already in the works that we could get involved in if there’s not do it, start it yourself, reach out to your local house and senate representatives. Find out who those individuals are, that you elect into office, that’s extremely important. But besides the main thing, to start creating the group building awareness and getting the advocates, because without advocates and without their story, it’s not going to go anywhere. These house representatives and these senators, want to listen to their constituents. And so if you don’t have constituents in all of the districts, you know, it reaching everyone with their personal story, why does it matter to them? Why should they push an insurance mandate in a conservative state of all? Why should they do that if they don’t have anybody picking up the phone, say, and I want to meet with you and tell you my story, because to me, family building matters, and I need your help. I’m electing you into office, and I need your voice and I need your help. So I feel it’s really important to have without the advocates, you’re nothing so having to advocate groups starting there, not being afraid to not know all the answers. You know how much how many mistakes that I’ve made this first year, a lot. But you know, what I learned from them. And if somebody wants to call me from another state, which if you have, I will tell them all the things, hey, this is what I learned not to do. This is what I learned to do. I’m still learning and growing, and trying to give them advice along the way. So I’m saying I am happy to do that. Because without Colorado and they’re, you know, kind of give us some insight as well, like, it was very helpful. And then also to reach out to the local fertility clinics in your area. See if you have some doctors in those groups that are passionate about this, and be okay, if you don’t get any response from any of the clinics. That’s okay, too. But at least try. I have a huge advocate and my doctor, and my OB has been incredible as well. So there are a lot of clinics, doctors that would love to see this for their patients. And you know, really just finding out Hey, what are my strengths as a leader of this group are what are my weaknesses, and who else in this group, maybe my weaknesses are their strength and utilize them. Let people do what they’re good at. And it might be looking like, hey, did taking your state and divided into three parts and have lead in like West, middle and East, whatever that looks like. So you kind of have a central person that they can go to and take some off of it something for next year. I’m going to do better delegating, so maybe start early with delegating to some really trustworthy people. But um, but yeah, I hope that helps. And I’m always happy to elaborate on any of that as well.
Eloise Drane
Absolutely. So, Chelsea, I have a two-part question for you. One. How does one begin to draft a bill? And what has to happen for a bill to be made into law and to then go into effect?
Chelsea Caldwell
Sure. So starting with your question for how does one begin to draft a bill? I’ll just start out by saying that during my experience with TFA, I’ve learned a ton about the legislative process. I’m not a legislative lawyer, didn’t even take legislation or admin in law school purely from a family law attorney background. Luckily for me, as Molly mentioned that a co-author very familiar with the legislative process pertaining to fertility insurance coverage laws and advocacy efforts in other states Davina Fankhauser Fertility within region. We worked really well in drafting a bill that we felt provided comprehensive coverage and also fit the political climate in Tennessee. But in drafting that bill, we look to guidance in other states fertility insurance coverage laws in particularly those states that have a similar political climate to Tennessee. Addressing your next question, what happens for a bill to be made into law and go into effect. Generally, a bill is introduced by a legislator in the House of Senate, it’s referred to a number of sub-committees and committees that have to get through in both the House and Senate and once approved and passed by both then goes to the governor. The governor can sign the bill into law, allow it to become law without his or her signature, or veto it. A governor’s veto can be overridden, usually by a two-thirds vote or majority vote that most bills do go into effect the first day of January of the next year although Some bills are slated to take effect in the following year or longer depending on the language of the bill.
Eloise Drane
Can you tell us how the third-party reproduction is incorporated in the Tennessee pro-family building act? And I just wanted to point out, especially when it comes to insurance, it’s already difficult to even get fertility coverage. But then you add in already having an issue and insurance with fertility coverage, then you’re in a conservative state, then there are political views, unfortunately, that come into it when quite honestly, it should just completely be out of the picture altogether. Because this is not anything political this is about human beings really in the coverage that they need, because we all know that fertility is a disease or should I say infertility rather, is a disease and now you’re talking about Okay, well, and now let’s add in a third party surrogacy, egg donation, sperm donation, whatever the case is, and now you’re also trying to introduce that into an in a conservative state. So can you tell us how that went about?
Chelsea Caldwell
Sure. So, in the bill, we include the defined term third party reproductive care for the benefit of the enrollee. And our definition was that that meant it was the use of egg, sperm, or embryos that are donated to the enrollee or partner by a donor or the use of a gestational carrier to achieve a lab birth. Then in another section of the bill, we discussed the diagnosis of infertility, fertility treatment, and fertility preservation. In that section, it states that the insurance carrier shall provide coverage for the expenses of all of those and that that coverage must include diagnosis of infertility, fertility treatment, and standard fertility preservation services, including third-party reproductive care. So that was referencing our defined term for the benefit of the enrollee or partner. One issue that we faced and misunderstanding, as it pertains to this concept was the conflation of delivery benefits with maternity benefits when third-party reproductive care is involved, specifically when a gestational carrier is involved. For some reason, the legislators and insurance lobbyists thought that if a gestational carrier is used, this bill would provide maternity coverage throughout the entire pregnancy, false. As you’re very aware, when the gestational carrier is used, unless the intended parents are planning to cash pay, the carrier needs to have a health insurance policy in place that covers the maternity medical expenses related to the pregnancy. Usually, this is her own medical insurance policy or the intended parents secure a policy for her. But how the language in our bill worked instead of the fertility coverage provided in this bill, as it pertains to let’s say, an enrollee undergoing an embryo transfer and medication she would take in preparation for that this would allow a gestational carrier to essentially take her place for that purpose, those same medical expenses would be covered under this bill, it would not extend as maternity benefits throughout the pregnancy. And unfortunately, you know, although wish it could be included in the bill would not cover compensation that gestational carrier or donor would receive. Going back to your point as it pertains to political opinions, you know, we did face some pushback on that and I think largely it stems from just not being very familiar with the process. I think a lot of it can be addressed through educating legislators and that these services really are necessary for people to build their family that can’t do it on their own without it.
Eloise Drane
Molly, the third stated objective of your organization is to assist our advocates in speaking to their employers about the need for fertility coverage. Why are empowered conversations with employers and HR representatives so important?
Mollie Walker
Man, this one is something that’s just really near and dear to my heart. When I did the federal lab today with Chelsea and when we were kind of just getting our feet wet, if you will, and advocacy in general, one of the things I learned about state legislation is even if a bill passes in your state if you work for a company, that is under an ERISA plan, so like a large employer, like an AutoZone, or international paper or a FedEx large employer, an ERISA plan company, then they don’t have to agree and follow state-mandated laws. Okay, so to simplify all that, I mean that to say it is so crucial to speak up to your employer. It is something I did when I was at a larger organization and still continue to help others fight that fight. We’ve seen firsthand just how much it means to have these kinds of empowered conversations with your employers. And just seeing letting them know that, hey, I’m here, I’m in the struggle right now. And I could really use some assistance. If we’re given money to go back to school, you’re giving money for adoption, which is amazing, why not help families build their own due to this disease that affects males and females. Unfortunately, I think in the world we live in a lot of people think or are ashamed of their stories, okay, I get that it is hard to verbally admit it, or write it out or share with this complete stranger who might not even care, is hard. But also, I think we often just wonder, okay, if I work at a company that has 10,000 employees, what is my one story going to do? Well, guess what, you can start a group at your company. And you can find people, I promise you with one in six, you know, go through it, you can find others who are struggling too, and you just get a bunch involved. And that’s what happened at St. Jude, and they did an amazing job. And they obtained coverage this year. So it is crucial for us to help advocate, figure out what that process looks like.
Eloise Drane
Any tips for those who are hoping to speak with their employer about coverage? What do you even say?
Mollie Walker
Yeah, right. So first, if you haven’t gone to our website, you can definitely do that we kind of have a link there that has a lot of good resources: https://tnfertilityadvocates.com, you can always check that out. But I always say first, start with your research, figure out not just who the head of HR is, but who’s the benefits director. Okay, so in a large organization, there’s somebody that’s responsible for, hey, making a recommendation on what plans are offered, what things, what choices do we give our employees? Do research to try to find that if you can’t find that person, obviously, start with your HR. But before you even pick up that phone, or send an email, write your story down. You just really want to write it in a compelling way, I always say insert a picture of you, your significant other, say you have secondary infertility, we’ll go ahead and put a picture of that and say, you know, we want to give her sibling, let them see not even that’s an attachment, like right there in the body of the email, you know, we could just put it right in there. So when they open it, they are reading that story. And they see a face behind it, they see humans behind it. So once you kind of get that story that written out, obviously not too long, because they’re not going to sit there read it all, probably, you know, you can either depending on if they’re local, and you can make an in-person meeting, by all means, do your best to do so if not request a phone call, do an email, but don’t give up. The thing is I think often I’m guilty of this, how often do we send an email? And if we don’t hear back or we ask for something, and we might not get the answer we want we’re just like, Okay, well, they don’t care. You know what, no, you’re gonna keep fighting, you’re going to find other advocates that you work with. And if everybody starts asking around the same time, HR is gonna say, okay, we’ve been asked about infertility coverage. And you know, the need for third party reproduction, we’ve seen this, we’ve, we have an issue, we need to address it. And so one story can literally start something that is just very, very meaningful. And so I say that to say that, do your research, write your story, get the right contacts, obviously, check out our website, we’re happy to help any way you can, even if you just need a glance over your story because there’s just an effective way to write it. And then there’s a way that you’re just really mad, and you want to find a good happy balance between, hey, it’s not their fault that they’re not offering it right now. I had an employer that told me, you know, what, and they have, like, 100,000 employees that they haven’t heard a lot of people ask for coverage, and a lot of their employees are members of our group. So you know what we’re going to change that is something we need to work towards, they need to hear from their body of employees. And I think employees just say no, that they haven’t, they’re empowered, you’re empowered to make a difference. You’re in power to speak up and your pain is not wasted. Just you know, the worst thing I think we could do with infertility at least especially this is how I view it is to let our pain go to waste. You know, why did we go through that, we went through it for a reason. And it might not affect Mollie Walker right now say I want a third child, legislation in Tennessee if it takes a year, it’s not going to affect me, but you know who it will affect the two kids, my two kids, if your kids and their kids in the next generation for generations to come. So it’s not only about yourself, it is really about who is coming up behind us.
Eloise Drane
That’s right.
Mollie Walker
We need to be their voice right. They don’t know we need to advocate for them. So sorry.
Eloise Drane
Oh no, no, please. No.
Mollie Walker
I feel it in my blood.
Eloise Drane
It’s perfect because I wholeheartedly agree. And I also feel that is going to your employer and having the conversation about them. Because if you think about it, if the person or the people that are in the HR team, if they’ve never experienced infertility, it may not be in the front of their mind, it may not be something that they’re thinking about it isn’t because they don’t care, or that because it’s not something they’re not willing to do. It could just very well be like, it was never a thought.
Mollie Walker
Sure. And then they even say, Well, right now we’re busy doing x project. We’ll follow back up with this in six months. Well, you know, what I would do, I’d probably set a calendar reminder for 6 months from now, touchback base, and then catch again, in never let it go. You know, don’t give up. You keep pushing. And in the meantime, you’re building up your advocate group at your employer.
Eloise Drane
Yep, absolutely. Chelsea, I know that one of the things that a lot of major corporations and other organizations that want change in legislation will usually hire a lobbyist. But when you’re starting a grassroots advocacy program, you probably don’t have money to afford a lobbyist. So how can you effectively advocate without having a lobbyist?
Chelsea Caldwell
Ah, lobbyists. This is something we tussle back and forth with for a long time with our group, because we had a number of people tell us, you know, you guys can’t do this without a lobbyist, you’re not going to be able to do anything without a lobbyist, totally false. And it’s false based on grassroots numbers and the, you know, the basis of our group that just kept growing and growing and growing. I’m going to answer your question by saying this stems from excellent leadership in a group, excellent leadership, organization, and delegation, even though Mollie you could bear to delegate a little bit more, but they did a fantastic job of leading our group and building the group finding group leads in different parts of the state. And really, I mean, it is a lot of work to take on. I mean, for each of us, we had a lot of work we had different tasks to do, but you know, rolling the group, having constituents reach out to their representatives can be done. It just takes a lot of work and it takes a lot of organization and excellent leadership to spur that on.
Eloise Drane
Got it. What are some of the pitfalls which beginner advocates need to be on the lookout for, you know, like being discouraged by setbacks, not including existing Coalition’s, like, what are some things that they need to be aware of Chelsea?
Chelsea Caldwell
Let’s see. I’ll let Mollie added this after I answer. But I would say a major pitfall I realized through our experience was purposeful tactics that insurance carriers use to distract from the real issue, to distract from the bill and getting a bill passed. We tried to negotiate months before the bill was even introduced with insurance carriers. And it was just like crickets, I mean, they, they wouldn’t really respond, they had no interest in talking to us. However, once the bill is passed, then obviously, or once the bill was introduced, all of a sudden it got their attention. And then they tried to distract on whatever issue they could sell that an exploit the fact that we don’t have a lobbyist and essentially run out of time. So I still would recommend if other states are attempting this, try to negotiate with the insurance carriers, but expect that they’re going to use tactics to try to delay the process as long as possible, and only will talk to you at the worst possible time. You know the days before, hours before a deadline is due or an amended bill needs to be filed. So that’s one pitfall to look out for. Molly, do you have anything to add to that as far as pitfalls?
Mollie Walker
Yeah, I would just say, keep your expectations, have realistic expectations. Okay. In a conservative state, especially passing an insurance mandate in Tennessee hasn’t happened since 2012. We were blown away when we passed the first three committees without a lobbyist. I mean, I took PTO days every single week, me and Cara, who was in Nashville, Chelsea joined to we spent days lobbying there with our TFA shirts, our mask on going door by door talking to these legislators. I mean, I have an Excel sheet that is mind-blowing of how I sort you know, based on who’s their legislators, who are their house rep who’s or senator, what’s their district, how are we covered here and having others Hey, time to call them. They’re on the committee, all these different things, but knowing I think going in that this isn’t going to be a one-year thing. And if you can just make some traction, which we did the media goodness, you could say whatever you want about a media, but the media was very gracious to help pick up and share what we were doing. And that got the word out other organizations like even magazines, blogs, Mom blogs, anything that you can find that they’re willing to talk about what you’re doing and in fertility and how people can get involved that helped grow our group. But just knowing it’s not gonna happen overnight. I mean, things like this can take years and so starting out with those expectations of you know what, I might not be able to afford a lobbyist this year, I’m going to do the best I can with what I’ve been given. And if we can make some headway, then great. And whatever we don’t do, we’ve learned from it and we’re going to do better next year. Okay, so we’ll be coming back. We know the opposition. Legislators, there are some that will be against you. And they will say things about you, and your organization, and just really learning to have thick skin and not take it personally and that’s always something I struggle with, you know, because I hear these advocate stories, I’ve listened to them, I’ve been there, there’s nothing worse than in them wanting to be their voice and people not understanding. And you know, they will this is the way we’ve always done it. And this is how it will be. And you will never change that as a mom from Tennessee, you know, and it will be changed, it will be. And it’s just going to take some time. And so just setting good expectations and remembering the good when things are hard, remembering what you have, what wins you have when things are hard.
Eloise Drane
So, grassroots advocacy is a significant time commitment. I mean, just from hearing what you guys are, have said about all of the things that you needed to do along the way in a one-year timeframe. I mean, we started the conversation, before we started recording about wanting to do something similar in the state of Georgia, where I’m at. I was listening to you, I don’t know. I don’t know if I really want to do that. But in all seriousness, it really does need to happen. But in what ways can advocates help who don’t have a lot of time to contribute? You know, and any one of you can, can hop on and give your thoughts?
Mollie Walker
Well, I’ll go first, I think the biggest thing is if you don’t have a lot of time, it is still very important to have a conversation with your house representative or senator. Okay, so write your story down, have that down pat, 30 seconds to a minute, or request to have lunch with them. They are just like me and you. They were just elected into office, right, and let them know that something like this is needed. You never know how they have been affected a blessing. I mean, this isn’t a great thing. But a lot of our legislators it’s heartbreaking really. But a lot of our legislators, their granddaughters, their grandsons, their children, struggle with infertility. And before you know it, we’re in the room with the committee, and one in six, there you go. And they’re sharing their story about how it’s needed. And they don’t usually vote for this kind. But this is needed. And so trying to just have that initial conversation. Yes, the things that our core team does are a lot. It is time-consuming, it takes a lot of energy, but it is so worth it. But perhaps you might be super busy and you might be able to just try to share on social media, hey, you know, I’m looking for some others that are passionate like I am and you just never know. You just never know how certain connections can lead to certain things. And maybe you find a legislator that’s like, you know, what I’ll work with our legal team will draft a bill. And let’s just see, like, we’ll just give it our best. And, you know, you just never know, the biggest thing is don’t give up. Like just don’t give up because it’s so needed. It’s a shame that we’re even doing this. But if we don’t do it, then who else is going to do it for us? Right? People think infertility is like, Oh, it’s just that’s a choice or something. It’s not a choice. It’s the disease of the reproductive system. So, therefore, we need coverage, just like any other disease. That’s right, Chelsea, what would you say?
Chelsea Caldwell
No, I’ll just add, circling back to something Mollie said earlier, that it really matters that you’re that you have the constituents for grassroots advocacy. And having the constituents doesn’t mean that those constituents need to put in the hours that you know, the main team is doing but they are filling out our survey, for example. Giving us knowledge where they’re located and are they willing to just shoot a quick three-sentence email to their representative when we need them to when the bills before that representative’s committee. Things like that, that aren’t super time-consuming but can help a ton because if a representative gets, you know, 30 to 50 to 100, emails, short emails about the same thing, it’s going to sway their opinion. It will and it’ll help. So there, there are a lot of things that constituents can do to get involved that don’t take up significant time.
Eloise Drane
Well, I have a final question, and this again going to be for the both of you what advice do you have for others who want to fight at the state level for fertility coverage.
Chelsea Caldwell
I would say exactly what Mollie said and an answer to a question before setting realistic expectations. It’s very much a marathon you know, and if you can get something passed that’s better than nothing at all. It may not be perfect, it may not be what you started with, it may change completely from what you started with but something is better than nothing. And then come back the next year and work on it more. Keep working on it but having that expectation that this isn’t a sprint, it’s not going to get done all in one session more than likely you know you’re going to have to keep working at it especially in a conservative state. That would be my advice to set realistic expectations. And then find constituents, find help, find members to grow your organization as well.
Mollie Walker
Yeah, I would just agree a lot with what Chelsea just said. Educate yourself the best you can, obviously, I don’t remember anything from government class in high school. I could probably teach it now. I would just say to start somewhere—the state’s website—and you can just learn who are your go-to people. Education is key, it matters who we elect into it office. You have a voice and your voice matters, goodness. Don’t let anybody dim that or make you feel less than or unworthy to share your story. Whatever that looks like, if it looks like State legislation then by all means go for it and I’m happy to be a resource, and Chelsea I’m sure as well. It looks like having conversations in your community, speak to your employer or whatever. I think we just need to learn what transparency means and how you know what this might not change the whole state landscape. If sharing of my journey can help one person not feel alone then it is worth it to me and it just takes the right time to get to that place. But just never give up and keep fighting.
Eloise Drane
If your story can actually, if you think about it what if my story helped not just a person that you don’t even know, what if my story helped my children my story now of what I’m going through ended up helping like you had said earlier, my children, my grandchildren, my nieces and nephews, my circle, my inner circle, when it if I’m doing that for them. I don’t even think about the outside people, people you’ve never met before, people you’ll never be able to see in your life but what about the people that are in your household. Make a change for them. I appreciate both of you, I thank you for your time. Thank you for joining me today and we will definitely share and add your information to the show notes so people can access the information about the organization and about you guys.
Mollie Walker
Thank you for having me.
Chelsea Caldwell
Thank you.
Eloise Drane
I really hope you found this discussion helpful. As you weigh your next steps we would love for you to rate us. So if you haven’t yet, go to your listening platform of choice and hit subscribe, rate, and review this podcast – 5-star reviews are our favorite. You can follow our Instagram and Facebook channel Family Inceptions. We’d also love for you to share Fertility Cafe with friends and family who would benefit from the information we shared. Join us next week for another conversation about family building. Remember, love has no limits, neither should parenthood.
