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How To Support Yourself As An Intended Parent

For those who choose surrogacy to grow their family, there is often a great deal of waiting, anticipating, hoping, and, most importantly, preparing. There is a lot that intended parents must prepare for before their surrogate’s pregnancy is confirmed. 

Understanding what goes into preparing for a successful surrogate pregnancy and being proactive as you await that much-anticipated news from the fertility clinic are vital steps you can take that will help support you as you navigate your surrogacy journey.

So, how exactly do you set yourself up for success? Good question. Read on to learn more about how you can support yourself as an intended parent before your new baby is on their way.

Start Early

In order to best support yourself as an intended parent, the best thing you can do is start preparing yourself early. While it’s both normal and okay to feel wary about investing too much emotional collateral into a surrogate pregnancy that hasn’t even been confirmed yet, you should also embrace the excitement you’re also likely feeling underneath all of that worry. 

Don’t let yourself feel as though you’re acting prematurely or that you’re being too hasty with preparing. A surrogacy journey takes a lot of time, energy, and resources, so it’s always best to start focusing on preparing early rather than later. 

In order to get the best start to your surrogacy journey and to successfully support yourself as an intended parent, consider taking these steps too:

Get Financially Secured

It’s no question that surrogacy comes with a high financial responsibility. Not only do you have to compensate your surrogate for her time, but you also must set funds aside for other expenses, including time off from work, additional medical bills, transportation, and so on. 

Additionally, the costs of having a baby through surrogacy does not end after the baby is born. You also must set funds aside for maternity and/or paternity leave, the formula for your baby if you are formula feeding, and, of course, baby essentials, like a crib, clothing, car seat, and more. 

Setting yourself up to be financially successful is one of the best things you can do to support yourself as an intended parent, as having adequate funds available can greatly reduce stress and ensure that you have a more positive surrogacy experience.

Read About Pregnancy And Parenting

As an intended parent, especially if you are a first-time parent, you may feel in over your head learning about how to care for a baby. While it’s true that no one is ever truly prepared for the many obstacles that come with being a new parent, there are things you can do to prepare yourself for the challenges ahead. 

Consider investing your time in learning about what the pregnancy journey for your surrogate will be like, as well as what the first few weeks of living with and caring for your newborn baby will be like. There are tons of resources available, both online and in your community, that you can turn to in order to prepare yourself and support yourself as an intended parent.

Here are some ways you can boost your knowledge and feel more confident as an intended parent:

  • Take an online parenting class, or find one in your local community
  • Browse through Amazon and pick out parenting books that reflect the style of parenting you lean toward the most. Or, read parenting books to find out what kind of parenting style fits you and your family best. 
  • Talk to friends and family who have kids of their own, and ask them for tips
  • Consider joining a parenting support group 
  • Download a pregnancy and parenting app

Assemble Your Support System

No successful surrogacy journey is complete without a strong support system. Before matching with a surrogate and beginning the surrogacy process, it’s important that you identify those who will help support you, not only during your surrogacy journey but also beyond your parenting journey as well. Your support system can be made up of a variety of people. 

Consider including your family members, such as your spouse and your child’s future grandparents, as well as your close friends, neighbors, members of your church or religious organization, members of support groups, and others in your community who may be able to lend a helping hand. 

You can also turn to the Internet to boost your support system by making friends in online support groups.

Start Thinking About What You’ll Need For Your Baby’s Arrival

While getting financially secured is important, it’s equally important to start thinking early about what your baby will need when you come home with them from the hospital. As you begin to set cash aside, consider making a list of everything you will need to be ready for your baby’s arrival. 

You don’t necessarily have to start getting everything on your list now, but it’s good to know what you’ll need in order to be fully prepared. Plus, it’s a good excuse to do some guilt-free baby shopping!

Here is a list of some of the things you’ll need to make sure you’re ready for the baby’s arrival:

  •     Baby basics, like diapers, wipes, bottles, diaper bags, and formula
  •     Linens, like blankets, clothes, rags, towels, and, of course, baby clothes
  •     Nursery items, like a crib, sound machine, and baby monitor
  •     Baby-proofing items, like outlet covers, cabinet locks, and baby gates
  •     Other items such as car seats, strollers, and baby carriers

Speaking of having everything you need for your baby’s arrival, you’ll also want to keep in mind some additional resources you and your baby may need. Preparing for these important essentials can help keep you organized and prevent you from getting overwhelmed as you continue on your surrogacy journey.

You should start preparing to:

  •     Find out what your child care needs are and identify potential childcare resources, such as family members or daycare centers.
  •     Research and interview prospective pediatricians that best fit you and your baby’s needs (bonus, one who is well-versed in surrogacy!)
  •     Tackle home improvement projects you may have been putting off, like painting a room, replacing appliances, or completing other tasks you may want to finish before you have a newborn in your home.

Don’t Forget To Care For Yourself

As you continue to prepare to start your surrogacy journey, be sure to continue prioritizing yourself and your own needs. How you feel matters. Your needs matter too! Normalizing by focusing on yourself from the beginning will help keep you in the mindset that your health and well-being are important. The first person in your support system is you, so make sure you are taking care of yourself as well.

Looking for more resources to support yourself as an intended parent? Contact us at Family Inceptions today. We can help find what you need. 

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Eloise Drane
Eloise Drane, Founder

"I believe that we are all placed on this earth for a purpose. Each one of us has a specific calling in this world and although it is different for everyone, we are here to serve one another. My purpose is to help women who wish to become surrogates and egg donors and the hopeful parents who wish to partner with them. I feel very lucky to be living my purpose."