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The Emotional Journey of Surrogacy: What to Expect

Embarking on the emotional journey of surrogacy can be difficult. Both intended parents and surrogates experience a rollercoaster of feelings that range from joy and anticipation to anxiety and introspection. This post aims to shed light on what to expect emotionally when considering or undergoing surrogacy, providing guidance to help you manage these emotions effectively.

Anticipation and Hope: The Early Stages of the Surrogacy Journey

At the start of the surrogacy journey, there’s an overwhelming sense of hope and anticipation. Intended parents see surrogacy as a path to fulfill their dreams of parenthood, while surrogates often feel a sense of purpose and altruism.


  • Optimism: The initial stages often carry a bright sense of future possibilities.
  • Empowerment: For surrogates, the ability to help others in a profound way can be fulfilling.


  • Uncertainty: The unknown aspects of surrogacy can induce stress and anxiety.
  • Impatience: The surrogacy process can be lengthy, which might test your patience.

Navigating Highs and Lows: Medical Processes and Legalities During the Surrogacy Journey

The middle stage of surrogacy includes medical processes like IVF, injections, and embryo transfers, as well as legal procedures. This phase can be emotionally draining.


  • Progress: Each successful medical step feels like an achievement.
  • Security: Legal contracts offer a sense of safety and delineated boundaries.


  • Medical Stress: Injections, hormone treatments, and monitoring can be physically and emotionally taxing.
  • Legal Complexities: The necessity of contracts and legal counsel can add stress.

Emotional Peaks: Pregnancy and Birth

The pregnancy period is often marked by a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. The birth of the child is an emotional peak, loaded with intense feelings for both the surrogate and the intended parents.


  • Fulfillment: The birth is the fruition of months of physical and emotional investment.
  • Joy: The happiness of holding a newborn is incomparable.


  • Separation Anxiety: Surrogates may experience emotions related to handing over the baby.
  • Adjustment: Intended parents may go through an emotional adjustment period post-birth.

Post-Partum: Closure and New Beginnings

After the birth, both parties face a transition. The intended parents start their journey of raising their child, while the surrogate may experience a sense of closure and accomplishment.


  • Gratitude: A shared sense of thankfulness often encapsulates this phase.
  • Closure: The surrogacy journey comes full circle, bringing a sense of completion.


  • Emptiness: Some surrogates report feeling a sense of loss or emptiness.
  • Readjustment: Intended parents must adapt to new family dynamics.

Being emotionally prepared can help you weather the ups and downs of the emotional journey of surrogacy. Open dialogue, professional counseling, and a strong support network are invaluable.

Whether you’re an intended parent or a surrogate, the surrogacy journey is an emotionally enriching experience that brings its own set of challenges and rewards. Being aware of what to expect can help you navigate this complex emotional landscape more effectively.

If you are on a surrogacy journey or considering one, Family Inceptions’ guidance can be immensely beneficial. Contact us to learn more.

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Eloise Drane
Eloise Drane, Founder

"I believe that we are all placed on this earth for a purpose. Each one of us has a specific calling in this world and although it is different for everyone, we are here to serve one another. My purpose is to help women who wish to become surrogates and egg donors and the hopeful parents who wish to partner with them. I feel very lucky to be living my purpose."