I Can Help You Have a Baby: LGBTQ Surrogacy and Egg Donation

“I think at times we feel or are made to feel that we champion different causes. But for me, I see commonality. I think, whether we’re talking about gender inequality or racism or queer rights or indigenous rights or animal rights, we’re talking about the fight against injustice.

 We’re talking about the fight against the belief that one nation, one people, one race, one gender, one species, has the right to dominate, use and control another with impunity.”

 – Joaquin Phoenix  (2020 Oscar Speech)

As I listened to Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar speech, I felt the sensation of chills run up the back of my neck. It was inspiring and moving to hear him speak of the inequalities and injustices that exist. I felt empowered when he mentioned how we must, “be a voice for the voiceless.” The impact of having a platform where you can reach the masses to educate and breakdown barriers, and stereotypes, is extremely valuable. As a blogger, and as a friend of the LGBTQ community, I sit in that same space to speak for those who cannot or those who don’t have the ability to share in the way that I am afforded the opportunity to each day. In this nation, we grant certain people with legal rights, while alienating others simply because of who they choose to love.

Family Inceptions Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency is a champion for the LGBTQ community, and believe it is everyone’s right to have children, regardless of sexual orientation or family structure. We are proud to have helped many same-sex couples through the journey of egg donation and surrogacy.

In light of Joaquin Phoenix’s recent speech, it’s time we all take action in fighting injustice surrounding fertility and reproduction in the LGBTQ community. I believe that activism for the LGBTQ community is not just being a friend of the community, or speaking out against the injustices they face, but being an avenue for which same-sex couples can have children through the process of surrogacy and/or adoption. Activism stems from the word “activity.” And while it’s great to support gay rights, think about just how great it is to place yourself in a position to make a life-changing difference in the lives of those who need it most. Be active, get involved, and make a difference for a couple who NEEDS you.

Show your support for the LGBTQ community by donating your eggs or being a gestational surrogate for a couple wanting to start a family.

When a same-sex couple wants to start a family, the options are limited to adoption or third-party reproduction, by way of egg donation for gay men, sperm donation for lesbian women, embryo donation, and gestational surrogacy. What better way to show your support for LGBTQ rights, including their right to start a family, than by giving a part of yourself.

By giving them a chance to experience parenthood.

By doing more than just talking or voting or ‘liking’ posts on social media.

By taking ACTION.

By donating your eggs to a same-sex male couple so they can in-turn, fertilize those eggs, and then have a gestational surrogate carry and birth a baby of their own.

By being the actual gestational surrogate, willing to give the gift of parenthood, and help create a family.

Is Surrogacy Legal for Same-Sex Couples in the US?

Most states in the U.S. now allow surrogacy. Unfortunately, gestational surrogacy is still banned or has limitations in other states. Even if surrogacy is permitted, there are still hurdles that same-sex couples have to jump, unlike heterosexual couples.

When we review the legality of gestational surrogacy in the United States, we find that each state has its own laws, and some states do not allow or recognize surrogacy contracts at all. And unfortunately, in some states, LGBTQ couples often face additional scrutiny during the surrogacy process to even be legally recognized, which is why it is a great idea to ensure you have the best agency behind you and a highly-competent legal team in place.

In the United States, we’ve come a long way as it pertains to gay rights, and simultaneously making strides in the world of gestational surrogacy. However, we still have so much further to go for the laws to catch up with science and technology. The beauty of science is that it allows us to evolve as a people, with research and technology constantly improving and providing innovative ways to do things we’ve never done before, or even thought possible.

Gestational surrogacy (or “extreme babysitting” if you will) for same-sex couples is a lot like surrogacy for heterosexuals in that you must find a willing participant as a surrogate. What better way than to share in the journey of helping a same sex couple create their own family with children. Most people grow up knowing that they want children and that doesn’t just change when they realize they are a part of the LGBTQ community.

Click here to review the laws surrounding surrogacy and egg donation in your state

Surrogacy is the Best Option for Same Sex Couples Who Want to Have Children

Surprisingly, adoption can be even harder than the gestational surrogacy process, and is even harder for same-sex couples. Thus, surrogacy tends to be the best option, even though it is a very expensive process and some surrogates won’t carry for same-sex couples. And while some consider gestational surrogacy to be exploitation of women’s bodies in exchange for monetary compensation, it is far from that. In fact, women who are impoverished or never had children are automatically ineligible. This helps to streamline the process and ensure the ethical and moral stability of something as precious and beautiful as creating a family. There is a lengthy process that helps to find the right surrogate, who at her core is there to make a difference in the world we live in.

The process of gestational surrogacy starts with deciding who will be biologically linked to the child, using an egg donor, carrier and IVF, very much like that of intended parents for a heterosexual couple. Some partners fertilize multiple eggs for implantation, allowing one of them or both of them to be the biological father. A donor egg, or sperm, can be known or selected anonymously.

Gestational surrogacy can help many people in the LGBTQ community make parenthood a reality. Honestly, as a mom, I say if heterosexuals can experience the exhausting day-to-day tasks of parenting, why not allow them to as well (I’m joking…well, maybe I’m not). Parenting is not easy, and I am not about to pretend (for the sake of this blog) that it’s all peaches and cream, or roses, or a walk in the park. You catch my drift. What I can attest to is that it is the most rewarding part of my life and I would not change it for anything in the world. Being a mother is one of the things I’m most proud of. I believe so many of us desire a world of equality, but even more for families to experience love and grow in the way they define family.

Those of the LGBTQ community are not any less human than the rest of us. They simply love someone who happens to be of the same sex. Who are we to dictate what someone feels in their heart? Love is not defined by one group of people, but individually we find love to be what makes us feel most alive and loved. The LGBTQ community consists of friends, family, co-workers, employees, business owners, politicians, professional athletes, and more. As times change, perceptions of family have become more and more inclusive, with surrogates and egg donors stepping up to help same-sex couples create the families they’ve always dreamed of having.

“Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow.”

– Joaquin Phoenix  (excerpt from Oscar 2020 speech)

Ready to become a surrogate mother for a same-sex couple?

Click here to learn more about he process of becoming a surrogate and how much surrogates for same-sex couples are paid.

Ready to become an egg donor for a same-sex couple?

Click here to learn more about he process of becoming an egg donor and how much egg donors for same-sex couples are paid.

Are you a same-sex couple looking to start the surrogacy process?

We’d love to help you start your parenthood-via-surrogacy journey. Family Inceptions Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency has been serving the LGBTQ community for more than 15 years, and has helped hundreds of gay and lesbian couple start their families through egg donation and surrogacy. Click here to learn more about Family Inceptions, or contact us to schedule a free consultation.

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